The Critical Parent Within

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The Critical Parent Within

The Critical Parent Within

Have you ever stopped to think about some thoughts you have about yourself that may be hurting you? Our brains are like computers and we store many memories and events of which we are not aware. In our past many adults, parents, teachers, and other authority figures have probably said some things that may have attacked your self-esteem. What messages left you feeling inadequate, worthless, unlovable and unworthy? Many may have been associated with shame and guilt. Very often we don’t realize it, but we replay these messages in our mind just as we originally heard them. It could be “You’re really stupid, can’t you do anything right?” It may have been “You are fat and you look like your Uncle Joey.”

Sometimes the simplest statement by an authority figure can have an imprint and impact on you that can last a lifetime.

Many of the destructive critical voices that first came from other people are now living inside you and are like an old tape recording that continually beats up on you. However, now it is you saying them to yourself even though your mom or dad may not have been around for years.

Many of these messages have been working away at your self-worth, so they will not banish overnight. If, you can identify them, name them, and become more aware of them you can diminish their effect. What messages did you hear growing up? Sometimes the simplest statement by an authority figure can have an imprint and impact on you that can last a lifetime. Let’s look at some comments that may have affected you.

  • “Jill is so pretty and she looks like her mom. You look like your dad, don’t you?”

  • “If you eat this you will feel better, lets order a pizza.”

  • “Your cousins are so smart. I guess you got your mom’s genes.”

  • “I can’t wait till you’re in school then I don’t have to hear your whining.”

  • “You always cause so many problems.”

  • “You will probably be overweight your entire life.”

  • “I’m not going to talk to you until you change.”

  • “You’re the messiest kid in the world.”

  • “You are so clumsy.”

 

Many of the messages are subtle, but they can be interpreted in your mind that something is wrong with you. You may feel you are not enough or not measuring up. Some messages leave scars and feelings of “I’m not good enough,” “I have no needs,” “It’s my fault,” “I don’t measure up,” “I am invisible,” or “No one cares about what I think.”

If you are dealing with negative self-talk, negative influences and messages from the past, we can help you. Recognizing these destructive thoughts is the beginning. Let us give you the skills you need to address the issues you may be facing. Remember it is not only words that impact your self-value but actions that others have demonstrated to you. Let us help you pull these destructive messages up by their root, and learn what God says about you.

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